It makes you look like a swollen, prune.
It makes you look like midgets got in a tiffy and jumped you.
It makes you look like you went all schizo and starting punching yourself on one side of the face, and then the other, just so it matches.
It makes you sprint for the ball high in the air and prepare to head it, but you don't see the defender coming at you.
It makes you bring your head in with all your strength expecting to hear the satisfactory synthetic leather thump of the soccer ball landing in the goal.
It makes you head, with all your strength the top of someones cranium instead.
It makes you drop to the ground clutching your head and gasp frantically for your breath back.
It makes you black out for a few seconds and open your eyes to harsh field lights with big fat unexpected tears rolling down your face.
It makes your nose bleed.
It makes you look up at everyone, and it lets you crack a joke.
Soccer is fun.