Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris' heart beats once a month.
When Chuck Norris falls into water, he doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris grinds coffee with his own teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris' calender goes from March 31st straight to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a "ctrl" button on his computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you've got left to live.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his spare time. And by "knit" I mean "kick, and by "sweaters" I mean "babies".