Do I have to feel sorry for being me every time I'm in a new relationship

There's nothing exponentially special about me at all and I suppose I"ll have to get used to that.

I don't like to delete things or forget them. Even if it might be something I'd be better off forgetting I think I always tend to think it'd be better if I tried to hold on to it and if the time came I'd squeeze something out of it that I can make use of. I've kept a journal since I was 10 years old and I might still have it sitting around somewhere. It's a little funny and embarrassing to see how I used to think of things but it helps me see a little where my way of thinking comes from. I feel like I need to be reminded that I'm fine and I'm normal and it's okay not to have stuff figured out every now and then and it helps a lot if those reminders are coming from me.

I just read these old posts I made about DeAngelo and I want to fucking hurl. That whole relationship was completely useless. I didn't gain anything from it. No lessons, no satisfaction, nothing.

It's only the first week of my summer vacation and I'm bored already. It just reminds me of how much I despise summer vacations here in Vegas. There's never anything for me to do here except be forced to think about everything I shove in the back of my head the rest of the year.