This is me trying to be cute.
This is me blending in with the cool kids.
This is me, a little after Christmas showing how pissed I am at something or someone.
And this is me, at 6:49 am on Friday, 1/23/08 being upset and feeling like shit.
See, what had happened was.
I went with mama to pick papa up from work.
I was pretty lively, and I was expecting a burger from him, that's why I went along.
So, we got my papa, and I got my burger, and things went pretty smoothly and with no incidents for a bit.
Then papa asked about my grades for the 1st semester and for the exams, and I told him a dozen times that we hadn't gotten them yet and to chillax about it. Then he was all like, to my mama, "Oh blah blah blah blah blah, shit shit shit, Ma have you seen her D? Naa siya ug D"
And I was like "Shiiit Hamie, that was for a reading log assignment and it wasn't worth anything, my overall grade is still an A, don't get stressed about it yo."
But, I suppose they were taking mt response the wrong way.
My mama chirps in and goes "Ate, what are you getting all in a tiffy for? We're just asking, no need to be all heated at us"
So, I go " Bullshit you are homeboy, the vibes I'm getting from both o' y'all is pressure. There's so much pressure y'all are puttin' on me. It's always GET AN A GET AN A GET A MOTHERFUCKING A"
I knew a cruel mouthful was coming from my father, directed at me, so I covered my ears and hummed Coin Operated Boy. All I could hear were barks from the fucking mutt.
There was a dog out in the street as we passed by, you see.
My papa, on the other hand, was indeed giving me a mouthful.
I couldn't hear him, thankfully as my ears were covered pretty hard, and I was humming pretty loud. There were brief moments when I heard nothing and uncovered my ears for a bit, but oh no, it wasn't over.
See, my papa when he gets angry does not yell, he talks, in a ruthless way.
You know when you can hear anger drip from someones voice without them yelling? They can even talk in sign language if you want and you realize they're angry! Yeah, kinda like that.
So finally I don't hear anything for a while so I uncover my ears.
LOL. It's mama's turn!
She goes "Ina, did you hear what your papa said? Were you listening?"
And I said, like the honest smart-arse I am,
"No, I wasn't listening"
"Ina! Were you listening?!"
OH! Irony.
"I said no!"
Then the authority's ruthless voice comes along. Stupid little snippets of what he means to say. He said something about kids these days and if he had talked that way to his father he'd get a good hiding. He said I was lucky I wasn't getting no backhand from him. OH HELL NO. Then he said " You can go back home if you want" I think he meant The Philippines.
"Whenever you want to go, just go, I'd happily pay the ticket. Pag layas. Go run away"
We had arrived at where we were headed by then.
Seafood City.
They parked the car and went inside. I just kinda lay there wanting to sleep, and feeling a bit chafed. I was pissed, and when I get pissed I cry. I don't know why that is, I just do. I want to yell, scream, shout, but my brother is sleeping in his car seat. I'm pretty choked up anyway.
After a while I manage to muffle my yell with the seat.
I yell " I DON"T DESERVE THIS SHIT" so loud it makes my throat sore.
When my parents got back, I was halfway asleep.
We were home before I knew it, and I got inside the house first, cut the burger in half went up to my room and ate the damn thing.
And then, I slept.
Big day ahead of me. There's no school today, but we have a soccer game.
Did you know I scored 2 goals at the Chaparral game on Wednesday?
Wish us luck,
ina