Housewife Jello

At work today most of my shift was committed to tasking and working in the back room. I enjoyed it, I didn't have to deal with as many customers as I could have. It wasn't all peachy and fun and games but I liked having an assignment to finish. While I was throwing boxes around and hauling ass back there one of my favorite coworkers came back and asked me if I needed some help while he was back there. I replied, "No, I can manage." While squeezing in through piles of stock carrying a huge hunk of a metal rack. "God damn girl, you're gonna make a great wife one day."

I started thinking, what a funny compliment. Realizing how not too long ago, that was all women were really expected to become; and even still now, although everyone denies it.

A lot of times I don't think I'm capable to become what I want to become, career-wise. Party because I'm not smart enough, and partly because I'm still not even entirely sure what I want to be. There's just a constant  waiting for something to strike me in the face telling me that, okay, this is what you're supposed to do, so just go ahead and do it. This vagueness surrounding my whole future is what is stopping me from having one. I want everything and I want nothing, all the same. Why did no one prepare me for this? Why does everyone expect me to be prepared for it now?

I wouldn't even make a good wife. I can't cook, let alone get through a day without having a mental breakdown.