I don't know how many more daily panic and anxiety attacks I can take because of school. Only so many until I actually jump off the 5th floor of Lied.
We celebrated Zacs 6th birthday party at the house yesterday. Currently, there's a bare-to-the-bone lechon sitting on the dining table along with enough leftovers to feed the Pitcairn Islands for lunch. He had a lot of fun and I'm happy that last night was a good night for him. Then again, as long as there's a party for you when you're a kid, it doesn't matter who goes, you'll still remember it as a great day.
I don't remember my 15th birthday here in America. I want to say we got a cake at Seafood City and I blew it out and then the rest of the day was spent at Mommy Mila's house doing nothing like always.
My 16th birthday, I went to school and DeAngelo had a huge balloon, a teddy bear, and a container of brownies for me and I carried it around all day. I remember feeling a little embarrassed because I wasn't very popular at thigh school and the balloon drew a lot of attention as I walked from class to class. During chemistry a classmate that barely talked to me wished me a happy birthday and then asked if she could have a brownie, I thanked her and gave her one, and gave some to other people that asked and then I took a bite, decided I didn't like it and gave the rest to her.
For my 17th birthday we had just moved to the house a few months before and I shared a party with my dad. My mother ordered us both very beautiful and quite expensive fondant cakes, and it was the prettiest cake I'd ever had. It was closer to my dads birthday so it was more of his party than mine. There were also more people there for him than for me. Tania and Carlos came and I hadn't seen her in years so I was happy she made it. I don't think I was very close friends with Garrison or Anthony yet. DeAngelo came and it was the first time he had been invited to a party. He brought me one of his old TV's because I needed one for my room and I kept thinking how pathetic he looked carrying it down the road with a glum face. He was frustrated because I was trying to divide my time between him and my friend and he left early and almost crying with frustration. What a complete dick.
My 18th birthday party, no one came. I invited Garrison and Anthony and I think they had things to do. I remember inviting a few other people and being scared to invite them all the same because they would see how many people didn't turn up. It didn't matter because no one did turn up except for the usual Vegas Filipino people. Everyone asked me where all my friends were. I was almost upset to say no one came and everyone was busy and I don't really have many friends, but I got presents and I spent time with the kids in my rooms so I wasn't too sad about it. Plus my mom ordered me a pretty Barbie cake.
I came home after work to a surprise party for my 19th birthday. I didn't expected but I had a hunch. Mostly because Filipinos are very disorganized when it comes to being on time to anything and someone arrived at the same time I did. My mom invited Anthony but he had church. I don't think she had Garrisons number. I spent the night eating and thanking everyone and my parents and taking a few shots and being in my room crocheting and making paper stars with the girls. It was nice.
Birthdays are a strange thing lately and it's a shame that I don't get as excited about them anymore as Zac does.