✿ ✖ ♥ ✖ ✿

It's 3 AM all of a sudden. My papa got home from work about 40 minutes ago. I should probably go downstairs and say hello.
Truth is, this family doesn't feel like a family. I'm not sure if it ever really has. Observing and being envious of everyone else's relationships with their parents distracts me too much from making mine better. My New Year's resolution for 2013 was to have a better relationship with them. I'd never assigned myself a proper resolution before. I'm just a little vexed today because nobody ate the tacos I made except for Jorge. I don't really feel appreciated for what I do around here. But then again, I'm sure I don't give appreciation where it's due either. I'll be that honest.

I can't even think anymore. I tried to clean but all I did was play with the scanner and put more pictures up and play with my back acne. Why do I have back acne? I'm not sure what time I'll wake up tomorrow but I have to go in to KC at 6. I was going to start reading The Bell Jar today but I suppose someone else's depression can wait to burden me another day longer. I miss John.